Five Jokes: 5-29-2025
A Screenwriter Joins 'Survivor,' Scrapped Bird Flu Vaccine Efforts, A YouTube Rabbit Hole, Elon Musk's Government Departure, and A New Climate Tax
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, a driverless semi-truck company is testing its vehicles on a Texas highway (which sounds like one hell of a country song), here’s an hour of me on the Somewhere In The Ring podcast talking to Andrew Sanford about wrestling… as an excuse to talk about Drew Carey —
— and here are FIVE JOKES!
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White Lotus creator Mike White is returning to Survivor. And can we blame him?! After writing three seasons of television about vacation murders, interpersonal vendettas, and gay incest, getting stranded on an island full of backstabbing strangers is like a trip to Disneyland to that man.
The Trump administration has cancelled plans to develop a bird flu vaccine. Given its current stances on PBS and education in general, the White House figured, “Killing Big Bird oughta do the trick.”
If you’ve left a comment on a YouTube video, a new website claims it might be able to find every comment you’ve ever left on any video you’ve ever watched. And if you’ve never left a comment on a YouTube video, be careful, because heaven is on a massive hiring spree for new angels.
Elon Musk is leaving his government role as a top adviser to President Donald Trump. The billionaire explained his departure by lifting an artificial intelligence photo of himself surrounded by thousands of his chainsaw-wielding children, shouting “This could be us, but u playin’!”
Joining in on the fun is Katie Miller, a top adviser for DOGE and wife of White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller — who has left her position to work with Musk in the private sector. Officially demoting Steven Miller the Deputy Chief of Checking His Wife’s Location Every Five Minutes.
Finally…
Hawaii has become the first U.S. state to establish a climate impact fee for travelers. But if that sounds too complicated, consider them advanced ticket payments for Moana’s 3 through 100.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
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