Five Jokes: 5-8-2024

New COVID Variant, Taylor Swift European Tour Hack, Met Gala A.I. Hoax, Boy Scouts Rebrand, and Woman Sentenced For Self-Checkout Theft

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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, and I’m marked safe from diss tracks, so here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• There's a new COVID-19 variant called FLiRT. The CDC recommends staying six feet away from anyone who got game.

• Fans are following Taylor Swift to Europe after finding Eras Tour tickets less costly there. And that includes the cost of flights, lodging, and struggling to get a French waiter to pay attention to you.

• Katy Perry and Rihanna didn’t attend the Met Gala. But AI-generated images still fooled fans. After taking a look at one of the images, who could blame them?

  

• After more than a century, Boy Scouts of America is rebranding as the more inclusive Scouting America. Which sources say was the better option from the other proposed name: Sith School.

Finally…

• A Northern California woman is facing more than three years in prison after being convicted of shoplifting more than $60,000 worth of items from Target using self-checkout. Prosecutors immediately regret allowing her to self-check in. “She should be here any minute now…”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

A beautiful allegory from Zach Silberberg…

https://twitter.com/zachsilberberg/status/1788006428688462279

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

PODCAST: Mother, May I Sleep With Podcast?

Molly McAleer (who was a guest on my You Are The Genre podcast) invited me onto her Mother, May I Sleep With Podcast? podcast about Lifetime Original Movies. We talk about the hilarious mockumentary Jackie’s Back! I don’t know HOW or WHY this is a Lifetime movie. it should’ve played in theaters. Anyway, listen!

Tim Barnes from the wonderful podcast "You Are The Genre" joins Molly to recap the absolutely hilarious 1999 Robert Townsend directed Lifetime flick, "Jackie's Back!"

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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