Five Jokes: 5-9-2025
White South African "Refugees," A New Pope, Banned New Zealand Names, Cannes Film Festival Protests, and New Crocodile Species
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, Catholics are making way for —
— and I’m monologuing tonight for ASSSSCAT at UCB NY. (TIX/INFO)
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The U.S. government has officially granted 54 Afrikaans South Africans, white descendants of mainly Dutch colonizers, refugee status and they are expected to land in America on Monday. So, to the residents of historically Black U.S. neighborhoods…
The world’s 1.4 billion Catholics have a new pope, and for the first time, he is from America. Specifically, Chicago. Which would certainly explain his affinity for reading from “deep dish” bibles.
The new pope, who goes by Leo XIV, is the first to have an online footprint — and his conclave of peers were pleased to learn that his recent TikTok answer to “Who would win in a fight between 100 men and one gorilla?” was “The Holy Spirit.”
And beyond Chicago, Pope Leo has Creole roots in Louisiana — as evidenced by this exclusive look at his DNA:
New Zealand's Department of Internal Affairs recently published a full list of the 40 names that were requested and rejected in 2024. And… should we be concerned that all of them are variations from The Dark Lord Sauron?
Cannes Film Festival workers have launched a fresh call to action over precarious working conditions. One leader went to the record, stating, “I mean, we at least thought we’d meet celebrities on this gig but I haven’t seen one Autobot or Decepticon on the red carpet.”
Finally…
Biologists have revealed two new crocodile species — marking the first such discovery to be made solely by glancing at CNN and taking a close look at the White House cabinet.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
World news analysis from Frank Conniff…
And some thoughts on the new pope from his old friend, Felipe Torres Medina…
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
UPCOMING SHOWS
On May 14 — I’m moderating Culture Connection: An Evening with Bestselling Fantasy Author Lev Grossman @ 7pmET for the Queens Public Library (INFO)
And on May 16 — I’m interviewing the talented for the release of his debut comic book series, Dark Regards, @7:30pm with Taylor & Co Books ! (INFO)
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