Five Jokes: 6-27-2024

Debatenik 2024, Denmark's Gassy Cow Tax, Russian A.I., SXSW Loses Weapons Manufacturer Sponsor, and Trump's Crush On Taylor Swift

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, I can’t get this discovery out of my head —

— and here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump square off tonight for a 90-minute televised debate with no crowd and muted mics when the other candidate is speaking. So, if you’re looking for one of the livelier debates we’ve gotten in recent years — try putting this one on mute, eating that special brownie in your fridge, and seeing how it syncs up with random YouTube clips of Judge Judy.

• Gassy cows and pigs will face a carbon tax in Denmark. Huh… Out here we call them farmers.

• A Russian propaganda network is promoting an AI-manipulated Biden video. It fools viewers for roughly 30 seconds before they realize, “Wait… why isn’t me moseying away from the podium toward the edge of the stage?”

• The SXSW festival has dropped army and weapons manufacturers as sponsors. Good! Weapons manufacturers are better suited for festivals with names like Burning Man anyway.

Finally…

• CNN aired audio of Donald Trump calling pop star Taylor Swift ”beautiful” five times in a matter of seconds. Despite rumors, it’s unverified as to whether he sat down and slowly removed his clothes like James Blunt.

  

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Dating app math from Clark Jones…

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

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