Five Jokes: 6-4-2025
Low Kennedy Center Sales, A Unique Museum Item, The Streaming Debut Of Classic Game Shows, Social Security Priorities, and A Pitch-Black Retreat
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Y’all hear about this?..
The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts has reportedly seen subscription sales fall by about $1.6m amid Trump’s having appointed himself to lead the institution. Can’t believe no one want to attend screenings at the newly minted Truth Social Multiplex where, if you pay extra for the “4DX experience,” you can feel the spit particles as he shouts “You’re fired!” in old episodes of The Apprentice.
The Netherlands’ national museum has a nearly 200-year-old condom, emblazoned with erotic art — and that’s just in the lost and found section.
Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune are coming to streaming for the first time — meaning your current subscription price will be chanting “big money… big money… big money…” along with the contestants.
Social Security officials have tweaked what they want some employees to treat as a priority for at least the next month to include about 900,000 complicated cases that must be completed by hand. It should be noted that the most time consuming element of these government “hand jobs” is during the cleanup process.
Finally…
Just 12 hours after entering a pitch-black, 400-square-foot cabin dug into the hillside in southern Oregon, crypto founder Charles Hoskinson fled in terror. To be fair, it has less to do with the intense darkness and more to do with the shock of suddenly actually understanding how cryptocurrency works.
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