Five Jokes: 6-5-2024
U.S. Spider Invasion, Bob Iger's Honorary Knighthood, American Police Drones, Bill Gates' New Memoir, & Biden's European Trip
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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The U.S. can expect to be invaded by giant, venomous flying spiders this summer. With any luck, they’ll have the cicadas saying, “Hey, guys, can you, like… calm down?”
Disney CEO Bob Iger Presented With Honorary Knighthood In Ceremony Presided By Prince William. Further proof that people will literally do anything for Disneyland tickets.
A WIRED investigation, based on more than 22 million flight coordinates, reveals the complicated truth about the first full-blown police drone program in the US—and why your city could be next. The groundbreaking research began after bystanders noticed an uptick in drones hovering around doughnut shops.
Bill Gates is releasing a memoir next year called Source Code: My Beginnings — which is much better than his original title, I Killed Clippy In His Sleep.
Finally…
The New York Times reports that while visiting Europe, Biden will find both solidarity and isolation. In other words, The New York Times has composed the most accurate description of having small talk with a British person.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Hoff Matthews always asking the tough questions…
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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"Arise, Sir Robert Iger. And face all the animated cartoon characters your company has fucked over since the 1920s..."