Five Jokes: 7-17-2024

Trump's Leaked Call, Seacrest's 'Wheel Of Fortune,' Elon's Move From California, Ingrid Andress' Drunken National Anthem, and Missy Elliott's Song Enters Space

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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• In a leaked phone call with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Trump voiced anti-vaccine conspiracy theories and described his phone call with Biden after the shooting as “very nice, actually.” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has apologized for the leak, however, it’s still unclear as to why they both ended the call shouting “Brain worms, unite!”

• Ryan Seacrest is excited to be the new host of Wheel of Fortune after Pat Sajak ended a four-decade run as host — stating “As a plastic doll brought to life by a rogue witch from the planet Sass, it’s an honor to take over the program and feast on the joyous desperation within each panelists soul. I intend to outlast Sajak as host and Earth as a whole.”

• Elon Musk blames California’s new trans privacy law for why he’s moving SpaceX and X from California to Texas. Which isn’t surprising once you realize he’s been naming companies after the X chromosome and hasn’t stopped to ask Y.

• After a widely panned performance of the U.S. national anthem at the MLB Home Run Derby, country singer Ingrid Andress apologized, saying she was drunk. The moment breaks the Guinness world record as the first stadium sized intervention.

Finally…

• Missy Elliott made history as the first person to have their rap song enter space with lyrics of her 1997 hit, “The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)” being transmitted to Venus. However, a song that repeats “I can’t stand the rain” launched from a planet with the most water in the solar system might come off as rude to aliens. “Hold up… rain? Like, water just falling from the sky — for free?! Must be nice…”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Nostalgic accuracy from Eli Olsberg…

https://x.com/EliOlsberg/status/1812335406228349150

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

If you’ve been watching Star Wars: The Acolyte and you’re all caught up with the finale — consider listening to Yub Nub where Jim Fagan and I unpack all the feels:

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