Five Jokes: 7-19-2024

Hannibal Lecter At The RNC, A Global IT Glitch, The FBI's Unreleased Tech, Ford's Truck Plans, and Brittney Spears vs Ozzy Osbourne

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• Hannibal Lecter was referenced again by the former president during his Republican National Convention speech — making it difficult to tell if the bandage over his ear is from the assassination attempt or his own attempts at eating it.

• The entire globe’s IT systems were interrupted by a cloud glitch. The culprit: Everyone simultaneously Googling “What the hell is going on in America?”

• The FBI used unreleased tech to access the Trump shooter’s phone. However, leaked details suggest the “unreleased tech” is just a kid named Skyler who likes to stay indoors. “Okay, I hacked the phone. Now, can I play video games?!”

• Ford will produce gasoline trucks at a Canadian plant, reversing a plan to make electric vehicles there. The working title for the truck is The Ford F**k It.

Finally…

• Britney Spears is slamming Ozzy Osbourne for calling her viral dance videos "sad" and said the Osbournes are "the most boring family known to mankind." This beef can only resolved with one thing: The weirdest music video known to man.

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