Five Jokes: 7-2-2025
Paramount Settles With Trump, The New "Golden Bachelor," Elon Musk's Party, Mark Zuckerberg's Surprise Visit, and Egg Prices Finally Drop
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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, AMC now warns moviegoers to expect ‘25-30 minutes’ of ads and trailers, and I’d just like to reflect on the fact that —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Paramount has agreed to pay President Trump $16 million to settle his lawsuit over the editing of an interview on the CBS News program 60 Minutes. So, if you’re counting, that’s $266,666 per minute, or as Trump calls it, “The amount Melania invoices after sitting next to me anywhere.”
Sean “P. Diddy Combs was convicted of a prostitution-related offense but acquitted of sex trafficking and racketeering charges that could have put one of hip-hop’s most celebrated figures behind bars for life. However, that still leaves room for his alter egos“Puffy,” “Daddy,” and “Brother Love” to a life sentence instead.
Elon Musk has threatened to launch a new political party. So, if you’re still not convinced that he made a Nazi salute, remember, it only takes four quick dashes to turn “X” into a swastika.
Mark Zuckerberg casually strolled into an Oval Office meeting before being asked to leave by concerned White House staffers. However, from Zuckerberg’s perspective, he was testing out the “virtual urinal” feature on his Meta Quest glasses.
Finally…
Waffle House is dropping its 50 cent per egg surcharge — prompting many customers to ask, “Hay, can I pay the 50 cents for a little help in this fight then?!”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
And now a word from TrumpPhone fan, Good At Job…
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Trump isn't getting the settlement money direct; it's funding for his Presidential library.