Five Jokes: 7-1-2025
A Leaked Email Threat, NASA Meets Netflix, Tinder's New Requirement, Wealthy New Yorkers React To Zohran Mamdani, and The Goats Of New York
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America / the first day of July, and I have a good feeling about this Project Hail Mary movie —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The 'first-ever competitive eating contest between goats' comes to NYC this month. If contests like this spread, its only a matter of time until Charles Barkley is on ESPN debating which goat is also the G.O.A.T.
Netflix and NASA announced a new partnership that will bring live space programming to the streaming service later this summer. Looking forward to John Mulaney’s next installment of his late night show, Everybody’s IN SPACE!
An Iran-linked cyberattack group that hacked President Trump's 2024 campaign is threatening to release another trove of emails it stole from his associates, including White House chief of staff Susie Wiles and Roger Stone — a.k.a. “the weirdest sexts of all time.”
They look like they DM each other about how to defeat Adam West’s Batman.
Tinder’s mandatory facial recognition check is coming to the US. You know, dating is starting to feel more like passing through the TSA to board a plane. Soon enough, one night stands will end with an offer to join a points program.
Finally…
Zohran Mamdani's surprise victory at New York City's Democratic mayoral primary last week has stunned the city’s wealthy buyers, who are reportedly looking to buy properties in other, more favorable locations—especially in Florida. Ironically, upon hearing this, the democratic socialist candidate quoted a famous billionaire by whispering:
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STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
The number of homicides is falling dramatically nationwide…
Beijing hosted China’s first fully autonomous 3-on-3 AI robot soccer match…
The Trump administration is building a national citizenship data system…
Reddit celebrates its 20th anniversdarythis week…
Chicago could open the country's first airport gay bar at O’Hare…
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