Five Jokes: 7-21-2025
Mark Zuckerberg's Hawaiian Empire, Billie Eilish Teams Up With James Cameron, A.I. Founding Fathers, Ellen In England, and A New Delta Airlines Pricing Scheme
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Hey! It’s Monday in America, Harvard is heading to court with a $2.6B lawsuit against Trump administration, and here are FIVE JOKES!
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If you’re keeping score, Zuckerberg’s secretive Hawaiian compund puts him in fierce competition with the world’s most famous doomsday pepper, Tyler Perry. Sure having a full scale replica o The White House in Atlanta is smart for film production, but if it survives a nuclear blast, we would soon be dealing with A Very Madea New World Order.
Billie Eilish announced that she’s working on a 3D project with Avatar director James Cameron. So, watch out, Smurfs, she’s moving on from adopting random elements of Black culture and the Blues are clearly next.
Conservative content mill PragerU is partnering with the White House to make AI-generated videos of founding fathers. Guess that’s one way for Black people to get Thomas Jefferson to admit he owes us child support.
Ellen DeGeneres says she moved to the U.K. because of Donald Trump. However, many in the British government considers her arrival to be “the most viscous deployment of a biological weapon from U.S. soil.” So… potato… Pearl Harbor.
Finally…
Delta Air Lines is leaning into dynamic ticket pricing that uses artificial intelligence to individually determine the highest fee you’d willingly pay for flights. But anyone who knows how such “AI” actually works will tell you this “high tech system” is actually five haggling aunties from a developing nation playing what they think is a cool new video game.
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Ariel Elias on the circumcision issue…
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We figured the USA giving us Ellen DeGeneres was in retaliation for our giving you James Cordon. Now we're going to have to demand the return of Idris Elba! You have 48 hours...
Maybe the FFs can explain why their plans made for a nation of one million people in the 18th century don't exactly work for a nation of nearly 400 million in the 21st century.