Five Jokes: 7-8-2024

Martian Replica, California Reparations, Europe's Space Rocket, Neverland Ranch Fire Warning, and The Evolution Of Downtown Attractions

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Okay… NOW here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Volunteers who lived in a NASA-created Mars replica for over a year have emerged. And after seeing how much everything costs upon their return, they’re actually eager to move back. “Hey, y’all can keep experimenting on us or whatever as long as you feed us and keep the lights on!”

• California is trying to lead the way on reparations but isn’t clear on the path to take. This comes after feeding multiple paths into an algorithm and each of them resulting in a burning cross emoji.

• Europe is preparing to test-launch a new rocket that officials hope will help reduce the region’s reliance on Elon Musk and SpaceX. And just like that, Elon’s therapist realized that he was being quite literal when he wept, “I just feel like everyone wants to build a rocket ship to fly away from me.”

• A wildfire threatens Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch — but you’d think it was Noah’s Ark given the number of animals the fire department escorted out.

Finally…

• Downtown development districts and other nonprofit groups are paying up to $100 an hour for buskers, jugglers, mime artists and musicians, betting their acts can make empty office districts feel safer and less depressing.  “There goes the neighborhood…” said one of these guys:

  

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Ayo Edebiri + The Criterion Closet = movie nerd fun!

Points were made during Hoff Matthews’ Biden interview. Points we made…

STRAY THOUGHT

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