Five Jokes: 7-8-2025
AMC Ticket Deals, The TSA Ends Its War On Shoes, Tesla Stocks, An Epstein Update, and A Giant “Funny” Ball
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, the team behind “Superman” is responding to the backlash after director James Gunn said the DC tentpole is the story of “an immigrant that came from other places,” and —
Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
GOOD NEWS: AMC theaters will offer 50% off tickets on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. BAD NEWS: AMC theaters are adding 25 to 30 extra minutes of pre-show commercials. WORSE NEWS: Most of those commercials are for the cheaper streaming services that’ll have the movie in two weeks.
As of this week, the TSA will allow airline passengers to keep their shoes on as they go through screening lanes at airports across the country for the first time since 2006 — meaning travelers will no longer suffer the guilt of hearing agents sing “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve smelt…” as they take off their sneakers.
Tesla's stock price slumped after Elon Musk announced his formation of a new political party. And it’s just like, when will people get the hint — America will always be a two wheel system.
The Justice Department and the FBI have found no evidence that disgraced financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein had a "client list" or that he blackmailed prominent associates. In fact, their current theory for the list of names is that, perhaps, Jeffrey Epstein was Santa Clause. So, take that, libs. You ruined Christmas.
Finally…
The producers behind Last One Laughing UK are developing a format in which comedians transport a gigantic ball across various terrains. So, if you’ve had that nagging feeling that working in entertainment is like Sisyphus pushing a boulder in an endless loop, you can now rest assured. That’s absolutely what’s taking place.
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