Five Jokes: 8-13-2024
The White House's "Cancel Subscription" Initiative, Florida's Registered Republicans, Barack Obama's Summer Playlist, Mars And Jupiter's Celestial Dance, and Tim Walz's Net-Worth
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, and here are five jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The White House has launched a new initiative aiming to make it easier to cancel subscriptions & memberships. However, a few rogue thrill-seekers are arguing against the initiative because The Search For The Cancel Subscription Button is the most challenging video game of all time.
Florida now counts 1 million more registered Republican voters than Democrats — meaning the GOP has either rapidly converted lefties into rightys, or — more likely — finally unlocked the lost treasure of Mar-a-Lago, unleashing zombie Republicans from the surrounding soil.
As is tradition, President Barack Obama has unveiled his summer playlist, and in typical form, his selections run the gamut — from Beyoncé to his own personal rendition of America The Beautiful in a style he calls um-capella.
Mars and Jupiter are pairing up this week in a celestial dance unseen from Earth in years. This was confirmed after NASA pointed a satellite at the two planets and heard the first notes of Ginuwine’s “Pony.”
Finally…
People are judging Governor Tim Walz on his net worth — but they don’t all come to the same conclusion. For the record, Tim Walz may be the least wealthy vice presidential nominee in history. And while some think it’s a good thing his net-worth is lower than the average Americans, others believe he’d catch more fish with with a net worth even more.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Check out Jordan Temple’s Father of None short film/documentary!
When an unmarried 35 year old black man (Jordan Temple) gets a vasectomy, it prompts conversations with friends and strangers alike about manhood, being a father, and widely viewed misconceptions over the surgery as a whole. Produced by Jordan Temple & Tim Robinson Directed by Mekki Leeper
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
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UPCOMING SHOWS
To any New Yorkers out there — TOMORROW, I’m hosting Banned Book Comedy at Queens Public Library! (TIX/INFO)
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