Five Jokes: 8-14-2023

Hip Hop Turns 50, Amazon's New A.I. Feature, Space Force's New Satellites, Zuckerberg vs Musk, & Coffee Shops vs Diversity!

Tim Barnes

Aug 14, 2023

Hey! It’s Thursday, Paypal announced a new CEO, and I’m pleased to a announce a fresh batch of Five Jokes!

Y’all hear about this?..

Hip Hop turned 50 last week. And, personally, I look forward to more rap lyrics about lower back pain.

Amazon is rolling out a generative AI feature that summarizes product reviews. But knowing Amazon, each review summary will say, “Purchase this is you’d like to live.” Followed by, “This isn’t a threat. I’m just saying… if you enjoy living, you should buy this. Or else... This has been a summary of reviews for Tortilla Blankets.”

The U.S. Space Force is launching its own swarm of tiny satellites. The satellites are said to be smaller and cheaper than their clunky predecessors. But, reading between the lines — it seems like our space military has finally entered its “iPhone” era. The satellites may seem cheap now, but we’ll be buying new ones every year just to seem cooler than the other countries. Soon enough, we’ll even have satellites that can organize themselves into space-memoji!

And once other nations catch up, we’ll probably start having Body Language Wars. I can see it now… American military leaders, huddled together, trying to discern what it means that Russia’s memoji winked at us.

In reference to their proposed cage match, Mark Zuckerberg wrote, “I think we can all agree Elon isn’t serious and it’s time to move on.” — “Hey, I just said that!” shouted everyone at a company owned by Musk.

Finally…

Coffee shops are continuing to fall short on diversity. Workforce demographic reports for Starbucks, for instance, reveal that the company is “way too heavy on the creamer.”

Bonus Joke!

Mobile food ordering is finally coming to U.S. airports. “Yeow! Aughhh!” said the first person to have used the service. He was in a TSA line holding a bowl of hot soup.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment! (Only five jokes are allowed in the poll, so if you likes the sixth — chime in with a comment!)

SOMETHING MORE?

Seeing as how Hip Hop has reached the age of 50, you might enjoy some of my half-baked theories from the July letter on why 2023 hasn’t produced a hip hop song or album to chart at #1.