Five Jokes: 8-16-2023

Christopher Nolan Loves ‘Talladega Nights,' Google's Life Assistant, Trump's Twitter DMs, Greek Residents vs Rental Chairs, Harrison Ford vs Snakes, & Driverless Taxis!

Aug 16, 2023

Hey! It’s Wednesday, Amazon’s In-House First Aid Clinics Push Injured Employees to Keep Working, but I’m just pushing these Five Jokes!

Y’all hear about this?..

‘Oppenheimer’ director, Christopher Nolan, refereed to ‘Talladega Nights’ as one of the ‘great comedies.’ But in true Nolan fashion, he followed this up by saying,”I love how the jokes make me weep. I cry for hours thinking about Ricky Bobby’s high jinks. They fill me with delightful sorrow.”

Google is testing an A.I. assistant that offers life advice. They’re calling the service “MOM” and its intensity ranges from “well, have you tried?…” to “why can’t you be more like?…”

The special counsel in the Jan. 6 indictment obtained Trump’s direct messages on Twitter. Their biggest challenge was navigating through his numerous erotic messages to McDonald’s. The special counsel has avoided leaking any details beyond saying, “We never want to read the word ‘McFlurry’ again.”

Greek residents are protesting rentable $130 chairs that have spread across their beaches. But in an unexpected twist, they claim the chairs are taking away their jobs. “First, self-checkout machines and now — this?!” expressed Dimitrios, an 80-year-old protestor on the scene. “People used to pay $200 to sit on me!”

Finally…

Harrison Ford has a new Peruvian snake species named after him. In response to the news (and this is a real quote), Harrison Ford said, “These scientists keep naming critters after me, but it's always the ones that terrify children. I don't understand. I spend my free time cross-stitching. I sing lullabies to my basil plants, so they won't fear the night."
This comes just in time for the announcement of Ford’s new book, Accidental Poetry After Learning Scientists Named Another Critter After Me.

Bonus Joke!

Paid driverless taxis got the green light last week from California regulators. Given the dangerous track record of driverless vehicles, it marks the first time in history that Black people are okay with a taxi not picking them up.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment! (Only five jokes are allowed in the poll, so if you likes the sixth — chime in with a comment!)

A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!

Speaking of taxis…

SOMETHING MORE?

Let’s see… what else do I have lingering in the vault. Ah! This looks good: My conversation with Sean Rameswaram from before he became creative director of Vox Audio and the host of Vox’s daily news podcast Today, Explained.