Five Jokes: 8-21-2024
Lil Jon At The DNC, Bennifer Break-Up, Bernie Sanders' Big Applause, Ian McKellen's Life Saving Fat Suit, and Kamala Harris’ Stepdaughter Ella Emhoff
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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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The DNC roll call featured a musical salute to each state and a surprise appearance from Lil Jon. Scrambling to compete, Donald Trump has asked for “an even littler one” for his next rally.
Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on the date of their second wedding anniversary. Affleck reportedly heard the news while purchasing an expensive bouquet of Boston Creams. “Guess it’s just you and me tonight, donuts… Let’s get it on.”
Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders' list of economic policies received a welcome reception from the DNC crowd , but it was his call for an end to the war in Gaza that received a big response from the audience. Or, as some mainstream leaders described it: “Insurgent applause that must be monitored closely.”
Sir Ian McKellen credits a fat suit for minimizing his injuries after he took a tumble on a West End stage in June. And before Tyler Perry gets any ideas, please made a “White Madea” suit to sell on QVC.
Finally…
Kamala Harris’ stepdaughter Ella Emhoff is going viral for her DNC fashion choices — and giving us all an idea of what happens to this Ghostbusters character when she grows up:
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Standup from Langston Kerman…
…who also has a great new special on Netflix out now called Bad Poetry!
STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Sorry, but this New York Times piece about a cosmic coincidence that gave Americans a case of Mars-mania is the perfect time for me to remind you of my cartoon, Maurice on Mars!
“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:
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