Five Jokes: 8-28-2023
Five Jokes: 8-28-2023
Egypt Demolishing Tombs, Quiet Cutting, Air Force A.I., Lobstermen Evolution, & A 'Sopranos' Star On OnlyFans!
A quick heads up that I’ll be taking all of September off due to the fact that I’m GETTING MARRIED. But you can still look forward to some interviews and blog-style posts from me throughout the month. More on that soon! I appreciate all of you who have subscribed so far, paid or unpaid — and hope you aren’t regretting it!
-Tim
Hey! It’s Monday, a mystery company backed by Silicon Valley billionaires has purchased tens of thousands of acres of land for more than $800 million to build a new city near San Francisco, and here are Five (mysteriously funny) Jokes!
SIDE NOTE: I wrote a short story about a San Francisco town created by billionaires that you can read here!
Y’all hear about this?..
The Egyptian government has demolished historic tombs, cultural centers, artisan workshops and gardens in pursuit of large-scale urban renewal. The government is keenly aware of jokes being made about this process, yet remains confident that if a mummy did return to their new urban space, it’d only be to find someone who can validate his parking.
In response to a wave of employees ‘quiet quitting,’ employers have started ‘quiet cutting.’ Some studies show how the trend could be going even further than that — suggesting that fifty percent of the nation’s unemployed don’t realize they’ve been ‘quiet hired’ until it too late.
The Air Force is starting to use A.I. to fly robot aircrafts. Which explains this newly revealed translation of R2-D2 from Star Wars:
Warm waters are turning Maine lobstermen into kelp farmers. And while we haven’t received word on how J. K. Rowling and Dave Chappelle are reacting to this information, its safe to assume they’re ‘team surf and turf.’
Finally…
A ‘Sopranos’ star has launched an OnlyFans account. And, I know who you think it is… but no — it isn’t Billy Bass.
He’s already naked, but I’d pay a monthly fee for him to keep quiet.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
If you enjoyed those Five Jokes, check out the best jokes from last week! And consider becoming a paid subscriber!
A JOKE FROM THE VAULT!
Just something to consider…
https://twitter.com/TimBarnes451/status/1442135670454046732
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UPCOMING SHOWS
“TINDER LIVE” — OCTOBER 12, 8:00PM @ TV Eye NYC (TICKETS)
SOMETHING MORE?
Zack Morrison and I co-hosted the latest episode of Contract TK — a YouTube series where current and former late night writers joke about the insane antics of the AMPTP during the ongoing WGA strike.
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See you tomorrow week with Five (more) Jokes!
