Five Jokes: 9-17-2024
Five Jokes: 9-17-2024
DILLON STEVENSON TAKEOVER! - A Miss America Challenge, P. Diddy Arrested, Amazon Office Worker Requirements, Conspiracy Theories In Springfield, and Hong Kong's National Security vs A Guy In A T-Shirt
Pssst! — if you find daily emails annoying, you can modify your subscription experience here!
It’s Tuesday in America, I’m taking over for — and here are Five Jokes!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
A New York woman is challenging Miss America and Miss World rules banning mothers from beauty pageants. If the rule is overturned, the competitions could see new Mom-specific talents such as, instantly locating that missing thing you insisted you couldn’t find.
Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs was arrested in New York.
No word yet if Puff Daddy will also be brought up on charges.
(The REMIX): No word yet if Puffy will also be brought up on charges.
(The Fashion Line Identity REMIX): No word yet if Sean John will also be brought up on charges.
(The late-in-the-game-obscure alias change REMIX): No word yet if Brother Love will also be brought up on charges.
Amazon told its office workers that they will have to come in five days a week next year. When asked for comment an Amazon warehouse worker stated: “Wait, they get to go home!?” before being written up for pausing to momentarily consider the crushing weight of capitalism.
Springfield faces a wave of bomb threats amid immigration conspiracy theories. Trump’s debate appearance has exacerbated the issue and completely overshadowed the Ohio town’s former most-prominent conspiracy theory about whether or not Homer Simpson lives there.
Finally…
A man in Hong Kong has pleaded guilty to sedition for wearing a T-shirt with a protest slogan, becoming the first person to be convicted under the city’s controversial national security law known as Article 23, passed in March. The Protest Shirt In Question:
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
I hope you enjoyed those jokes! My name is and you can follow me on Instagram, or my website!
For more laughs, check out yesterday’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber to
:Or my own Substack newsletter!
OR send me a tip on Venmo at @Dillon-Stevenson:
OR subscribe to Tim’s YOU ARE THE GENRE podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here in the matrix of this newsletter!
And you can always share screenshots or forward this to a friend!
(this post may be too long for your email — if so, read the web version!)
A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
A few words from Ikechukwu Ufomadu…
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
As promised, the very first installment of Digital Damage District Wrestling. I’ll try to have Part Two ready at the end of the week! Enjoy!
“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” — explains it here:
Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…
…or becoming a free or paid subscriber!
See you tomorrow for day three of…
Dillon Stevenson is a comedian and writer based out of NYC, and is the one "Dillon" anyone ever REALLY needs in their life. As the One Dillon, he's landed writing jobs at Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas (HBO), and The Big Fib (Disney+) and co-created Super Video Bros, a comedy party dedicated to celebrating music videos as an art form. Much like his favorite superhero, the Silver Surfer, Dillon's passion is finding the best places to eat.
