Five Jokes: 9-18-2024
DILLON STEVENSON TAKEOVER! - Delta Flight Cabin Pressure Chaos, NYC's Urban Rat Summit, Craigslist Founder's $100 Million Pledge, Meta's New Teen Safety Protocol, and Harvest Moon Supermoon
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It’s Wednesday in America, I’m taking over for — and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Cabin pressure issues on a Delta flight caused ear pain and bloody noses for passengers. Not to be outdone in miserable flying experiences, Spirit Airlines has begun punching passengers in the face as they board for an extra fee.
New York City is hosting its inaugural National Urban Rat Summit this week. However New York residents consider every garbage pickup day a local urban rat summit.
Craigslist founder Craig Newmark has pledged $100 million to bolster U.S. cybersecurity - but pledges $0Million to stop Craigslist from looking like this:
Meta will now designate Instagram users under 18 as “Teen Accounts” by default, flipping on more restrictive settings on who can interact with them and what kind of content they’ll see. And “Teen Accounts” will designate Instagram users over 35 as “Sad.”
Finally…
A Harvest Moon Supermoon lunar eclipse delighted skywatchers worldwide last night — also providing the perfect chance to pull off that big heist.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
An important question from Casey James Salengo…
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
A magic trick feels like the best way for me to end this email…
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Dillon Stevenson is a comedian and writer based out of NYC, and is the one "Dillon" anyone ever REALLY needs in their life. As the One Dillon, he's landed writing jobs at Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas (HBO), and The Big Fib (Disney+) and co-created Super Video Bros, a comedy party dedicated to celebrating music videos as an art form. Much like his favorite superhero, the Silver Surfer, Dillon's passion is finding the best places to eat.
