Five Jokes: 9-19-2024
Five Jokes: 9-19-2024
DILLON STEVENSON TAKEOVER! - New Audience For A Former 'Blues Clues' Star, Hershey Energy Drinks, David Schwimmer In Black, Teamster's Non-Endorsement, and TikTok's Star Hippo
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It’s Thursday in America, I’m taking over for — and here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Steve Burns, the former star of the beloved children’s show “Blue’s Clues,” has a new audience: adults on TikTok. This new adult audience is only looking for clues to solve one gripping mystery: Where it all went wrong…
Hershey is turning its candy into energy drinks and protein powders with C4. Officially cementing the first “wrong way to eat a Reese’s…” - chugged in between squat sets.
David Schwimmer floated a theory that Men In Black could have made him a movie star. The most appropriate reaction to the Friends actor’s theory is nearly ANY picture of Tommy Lee Jones.
The Teamsters union won’t endorse a presidential candidate. Echoing the growing public sentiment we’re all feeling, embodied by the acronym MAWTCSTOO… Make America Wish They Could Sit This One Out
Finally…
Baby pygmy hippo Moo Deng is a TikTok star, but her keepers are worried as fans have flooded the zoo and risk harming it. It seems we haven’t learned ANY lessons from last time Human celebrity culture impacted Hippo-Society…
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Dulcé Sloan has notes for New York…
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
It’s true… I know how to get to Sesame Street…
“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” — explains it here:
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Dillon Stevenson is a comedian and writer based out of NYC, and is the one "Dillon" anyone ever REALLY needs in their life. As the One Dillon, he's landed writing jobs at Wyatt Cenac's Problem Areas (HBO), and The Big Fib (Disney+) and co-created Super Video Bros, a comedy party dedicated to celebrating music videos as an art form. Much like his favorite superhero, the Silver Surfer, Dillon's passion is finding the best places to eat.
Given the recent turmoil involving the Teamsters in the Canadian strikes of the CPKC and CN railroads, they probably won't be endorsing anyone for Prime Minister in the next election, either.