Five Jokes: 9-5-2024

Amazon Smart Robots, A Navy Commander's Wrong Scopes, Leaked Disney Data, Michael Douglas vs Michael Douglas, and August Jobs Report

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Amazon has acquired a team to give robots greater intelligence and dexterity. The team is tasked with making the machines smart enough to safely package a vase, dumb enough not to unionize and, oddly — full of enough liquid to successfully”robo--pee into a Dasani bottle.”

• A Navy commander was relieved of duty after a photo showed him firing a rifle with a scope mounted backward. In his defense, I’d prefer people point weapons while looking deep into the recesses of their souls.

  

• Leaked Disney data reveals financial and strategy secrets — all but ending its plans to open a ride called Race Mountain filled with the crows from Dumbo.

• Michael Keaton wants to start using his real name: Michael Douglas. Thus, Celebrity Death Match was re-born.

  

Finally…

• The upcoming August jobs report could ease recession worries or fuel them. But if you want to feel just right, wait for the August Gigs Report.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

New York logic from Gastor Almonte…

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

A throwback to my You Are The Genre interview with comedian Yedoye Travis!

UPCOMING SHOW

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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