Five Jokes: 9-9-2024

Kendrick At The Super Bowl, Cheney's Vote, Trump vs Harris Debate Prep, Apple A.I., and College Statistics

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Hey! It’s Monday in America, and there’s a brand new “best of” episode of my You Are The Genre podcast featuring conversations with

Mike Sacks

, Anna Suzuki,

Mychal Denzel Smith

and

ashley ray

!

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Kendrick Lamar will headline the 2025 Super Bowl halftime show in New Orleans. Kind of him to give Drake’s career a festive jazz funeral.

• Dick Cheney says he will vote for Kamala Harris — urging citizens to “face the moment before I shoot you in it.”

• Harris and Trump are getting ready for Tuesday’s debate in sharply different ways. While Harris is eating healthy, participating in mock debates, and staying up to date on current events — Trump is currently scrolling Truth Social, eating vintage pancakes, and yelling at Aunt Jemima on the box.

• Apple is unveiling an AI feature called Apple Intelligence — which is a lot like regular artificial intelligence, only powered by blood minerals from the Congo.

Finally…

• The share of Black students fell at some of the most selective U.S. colleges this fall and leaders of those institutions are now trying to figure out why. Seismologists clarify that it wasn’t an earthquake you just felt — merely the result of every Black person murmuring “Mhmmm…” in unison.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out last week’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber:

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

The clock is ticking with Skyler Higley…

https://x.com/skyler_higley/status/183260644220305008

STRAY THOUGHT

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

That time

Saurin Choksi

told me about old folks improv…

UPCOMING SHOW

If you’re looking for something to read — perhaps you can try Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books ahead of my live-streamed conversation with the author on Sept. 25! (INFO HERE)

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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