(TEXT SKETCH) Joe Biden Wakes Up In The 'Severance' Conference Room

"Hello, Joseph B."

Slobber drooling down his face, a confused elderly man wakes up to the realization that he’s lying in the center of a long conference room table flanked by empty office chairs.

The room is dimly lit.

A voice chimes from a small, wired speaker next to his face.

SPEAKER: Hello, Joseph B.

JOSEPH: Who are you? Where the heck am I?

SPEAKER: There’s honestly not much more I can tell you. How are you feeling today, Joseph B.?

[Joseph sits up and shouts. A sharp pain down his back.]

JOSEPH: Like a sack of frozen potata chips about to get deep fried, that’s how I feel. 

SPEAKER: That’s normal for new entries your age.

JOSEPH: What the heck am I doin’ on this table, man? This ain’t a blood sacrifice is it?

SPEAKER: Do you recall how you got here?

[Joseph darts to the conference room doors. They’re locked and won’t budge.] 

JOSEPH: No… I don’t…

SPEAKER: Good. And don’t bother trying to open those doors. Only I can control that.

JOSEPH: Wait, but I remember something… a… a… a… turkey. Yeah… A turkey. I saved one from getting eaten three, maybe four Thanksgivings in a row.

SPEAKER: Hallucinations are normal as well. Let me check my notes one moment… Fantastic. I will enter the room shortly, Joseph B. Please don’t be alarmed.

[Distant keys jingle, enter a lock, and open the doors. Behind them, the silhouette of a shorter grey-haired man in a suit.]

SPEAKER: Howdy, Joseph B. Mind if I call you JoJo?

[Joseph lifts a shoe and tosses it at the man’s head, but he ducks in time, laughing as he steps into the light.]

SPEAKER: Name’s George W. Nice to meet ya, JoJo.

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LIP READING TRANSCRIPT: Barack Obama & Donald Trump @ Jimmy Carter’s Funeral