Five Jokes: 1-15-2025

Inauguration Updates, Bee Gees Movie Backfire, Forest Fire Statistics, The FDA's Suggestion For Labels, and Walgreens Learns Its Lesson

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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, and You Are The Genre is back! Dive into my interview with The Good Place, The President Show, and Everybody Still Hates Chris writer Rae Sanni! [Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode w/

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Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• In inauguration news…

  • Michelle Obama will skip the event, while ex-Presidents Obama, Clinton and Bush will be in attendance…

  • Whoopi Goldberg is in support of Carrie Underwood’s decision to sing at the inauguration, but won’t be watching…

  • And House speaker Mike Johnson announced that flags will be raised for the event and lowered again the following day to honor the death of former president Jimmy Carter…

  However, the stars and stripes have announced they’ll be out with Whoopi and Michelle, smoking “veggies” to get through the day.

• The making of the much-awaited Bee Gees movie has stopped at Paramount Pictures because of contract issues with director Ridley Scott. But that won’t stop him self-funding a Stayin’ Alive film about a ravenous zombie disco band on the moon.

• More Americans than ever are living in areas at risk of wildfires — meaning more insurance companies than ever will use the classic “Ooops… The fire ate your policy” excuse.

• The FDA is calling for at-a-glance nutrition labels on the front of packaged foods. Kellogg’s is beta testing ways to make Tony the Tiger “even hotter” to distract consumers from the amount of sugar in each box.

  

Finally…

• Walgreens CEO Tim Wentworth recently acknowledged that locking up products to deter theft has backfired and deterred sales. Wentworth has since suggested a more reasonable and democratic approach their anti-theft measures by having a jury of the deodorant’s peers decide if it deserves going behind bars.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! OR buy me a coffee:

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Joshua Neal is trying his best to remind you that One Of Them Days is hitting theaters January 17…

STRAY THOUGHT

IN OTHER NEWS…

[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]

• Robot vacuums just keep growing.

• The SEC says Elon Musk cheated Twitter shareholders out of over $150 million by waiting too long to disclose his growing stake in the platform ahead of a takeover bid back in 2022, the SEC said in a lawsuit.

• U.S. TikTok users are flocking to the Chinese app RedNote.

• And… Drake has dropped his legal petition against Spotify and Universal which claimed the companies conspired to boost numbers Kendrick Lamar’s diss track “Not Like Us.”

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Prepping for season 2 of Severance? Add my interview with one of its co-stars, Zach Cherry, into the mix —

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“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla