Five Jokes: 1-17-2024

Blocked JetBlue-Spirit Merger, ABC’s Cancelled Debate, Cold Weather Teslas, Tina Fey’s SNL Prospects, and Robert F. Kennedy’s New Party

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Hey! It’s Wednesday in America, and I’m a guest this week on the Barguments podcast:

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• A JetBlue-Spirit Airlines merger was blocked by a federal judge — after getting a headache from trying to imagine the two airlines “doing it.”

• Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is trying to create his own party — but hates that “My Wife Was In Curb Your Enthusiasm” keeps testing as the best name.

• With Chicago temperatures sinking below zero, electric vehicle charging stations are filled with low batteries, confrontational drivers and lines stretching out onto the street. Granted, half of that line are gas drivers placing bets. “$200 on Blue Tesla punching Red Tesla’s lights out!”

• Lorne Michaels confirmed that Tina Fey is in the running to succeed him at 'Saturday Night Live.' But don’t expect a transition of power anytime soon. Michaels also asserted that, “According to Dr. Spaceman, I’ll be around for mini year.”

  

Finally…

• ABC News canceled its Republican primary debate slated for Thursday, citing Nikki Haley’s refusal to attend without Donald Trump. They considered developing an A.I. hologram of the former president to appease her, but the dang robot kept talking in complete sentences.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

Correction from the future: should say “best” instead of “first” bellow! ↓

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

A pitch Rohita Kadambi that can’t help but make you wonder what the theme song would be like.

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Yub Nub, the Star Wars podcast that I co-host with Greg Iwinski and Jim Fagan has returned! Check out the first episode of 2024!

UPCOMING SHOWS!

• “SpeakEasy” — January 17, 7:00PM @ Caveat NYC (TICKETS)

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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