Five Jokes: 1-18-2024

A Chuck E. Cheese Game Show, Pitchfork / GQ Merger, Convincing “Super-drivers” To Go Electric, Disease X, and The Vatican’s A.I. Expert

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and here’s a picture of my dog Spock walking in two inches of snow:

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• A new Chuck E. Cheese show has adults competing in super-sized versions of Chuck E. Cheese kids games. This comes after the groundbreaking discovery of a live-stream from hell.

• Condé Nast is folding the online music publication Pitchfork into GQ. The newly merged Gentlemen’s Pitchfork intends to wow subscribers with its new tag line “Definitely A Web Site Slash Magazine About Men But Also Music.”

• Some American states are making attempts at convincing “super drivers” to switch to electric vehicles. They almost convinced the Fast & Furious franchise to go electric, but producers worried that silent chase scenes would free up enough mental space for audience members to ask, “Wait, what’s the plot here exactly?”

• A hypothetical virus dubbed Disease X has world leaders convening at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland this week to discuss how to prevent the threat of another cataclysmic pandemic. It’s important to note that DiseaseX doesn’t yet exist, but when it does, Elon Musk will definitely sue it for copyright infringement.

Finally…

• The Vatican's top expert on AI ethics is a friar from a medieval Franciscan order. Which is the fanciest way of saying “nerd who keeps talking about computers at church.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Someone hire Steven Castillo at Netflix.

https://twitter.com/STEEEZUSCHRIST/status/1747700132726878625

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

I’ve got an alternate newsletter called

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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