Five Jokes: 1-19-2024

Government Shutdown Averted, Climate Change On Sports, Japan's Transforming Moon-Bot, Gene Edited Pig Livers, and the CDC vs Charcuterie Meat

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Hey! It’s Friday in America and the cast of the new Jennifer Lopez movie looks like the guest list of a dinner party where the menu just says “everything.”

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Americans have been spared a government shutdown for another six weeks. Per tradition, the decision was made after Mitch McConnell crawled out of his hole in Kentucky and stood silently for ten seconds.

• Climate change is terrifying the ski industry — prompting the Biden administration to place skiing onto the “Endangered White Activities” list (along with ice hockey and Rolling Stones concerts).

• Japan landed a transforming robot onto the moon. Despite a brief confrontation with a Decepticon, things ran smoothy. “It only asked about something it sent to Earth in the 70s called Jay Leno,” explained Japanese officials.

• A gene-edited pig liver was attached to a person, and worked for 3 days — until the human decided to see other pig livers.

Finally…

• The CDC has expanded its warning about charcuterie meat. Saying, “Take a good look around you. Is this the type of party you imagined you’d ever attend when you were a teenager?”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

https://twitter.com/ajdeluxe_/status/1747796640419790885

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

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See you next week with 25 more jokes!

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