Five Jokes: 1-2-2024
An Almost Deep Fried Head, Debate Prepping For 2024, Veggies With Pig Genes, 'Performative" Hollywood Diversity Pledges, and School Phone Bans
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Hey! It’s Tuesday, but I can’t stop thinking about this headline from last Friday:
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
A North Carolina pastor allegedly tried pushing the head of his wife’s co-worker into a McDonald’s deep fryer after the employee allegedly “disrespected” his spouse. And since “respect” is the alleged theme of his next sermon, congregants will allegedly up their tithes to 20% and avoid eye contact.
Debates on A.I., gender and guns will likely dominate state legislatures in 2024. “Dang it!” shouted Cannon, the A.I. voice assistant that self identifies as a gun. But after realizing the safety was on, it shouted “f—k!”
A molecular farming company has inserted pig genes into soy beans to generate meaty-tasting proteins that can be grown in plants. Fake bacon products will soon add this label:
A study found that pledges made by major studios to hire more female filmmakers and people of color were ‘performative.’ The study is titled “The Bank Account Of That Black Woman Filmmaker You Met That One Time, Maybe.”
Finally…
Schools are starting to ban phones — amid growing concern from teachers that students will post lectures online before they’re Netflix ready.
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Tarik Davis presents: “Song Lyrics From A Noire Detective”
Find more of his hilarious/insightful clips here.
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Here are some of my favorite TV shows from 2023 and their corresponding food/beverage vibes:
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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