Five Jokes: 1-23-2025

Redditors vs Musk, Rare Hyena, Corporate Diversity Fears, New Instagram Features, and Oscar Nominations

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, Ayo Edebiri and John Malkovich star in this upcoming A24 horror-thriller, OPUS —

— and I’m pretty sure this is the exact moment that —

Joe Biden Wakes Up In The 'Severance' Conference Room

Anyway, here are FIVE JOKES!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Dozens of popular subreddits are banning links to X after Elon Musk made a gesture that historians and human rights groups have described as a Nazi salute. Counterpoint: People who watch the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens and are humans in far right groups have described it as “an improvised openhanded nut check for the Lord.” So… there’s that…

• Scientists have reported a sighting of a spotted hyena in southeastern Egypt — the first such encounter recorded in a whopping 5,000 years. Know what that means… at least 6 more weeks of apocalypse.

• Some corporate leaders worry that the Trump administration might investigate them over their diversity policies - prompting new “Oops,All White!” hiring practices.

• Instagram might reveal your embarrassing habits thanks to a new feature that shows you a feed of videos that your friends liked. Counterpoint: It could forge bizarre new bonds.

  “Wow, I thought Frank and I were just casual acquaintances but now that I know we both love the same anonymous twerking lady, I consider us friends. Thanks twerking lady. Thanks Meta’s Instagram. Thanks CIA, who probably knew about this and the anonymous twerking lady’s identity all along! 🎶YES I’M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! WHERE AT LEAST TWERKIN’ IS FREE!"🎶

Finally…

• After hearing that Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl has been nominated an Oscar, co-creators Nick Park and Merlin Crossingham spoke to the BBC, with Park describing the nomination as a "surprise and real privilege," Crossingham saying, "I nearly spilt my tea” — and Wallace insisting that someone please free him from the stop-motion studio. “Oh, you nearly spilt your tea, did ya? Imagine never knowing the touch of actual wind!”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

If you enjoyed those, check out yesterday’s jokes! OR:

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Nore Davis is one of the best to ever do it…

SIDE NOTE: I interview Nore back in 2014!

STRAY THOUGHT

IN OTHER NEWS…

[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]

• The U.S. canceled flights for thousands of refugees it had already approved to enter the country…

• The Pentagon plans to send 1,500 troops to the southern border by the end of the month…

• And… Emilia Pérez Star Karla Sofía Gascón Makes Oscar History as First Openly Trans Actress to Be Nominated.

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

Check out this week’s You Are The Genre episode w/ TV writer

mamoudou n’diaye

!

[Mamoudou N'Diaye] Is The Genre

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[Dominique Jean-Louis] Is The Genre

“Why are is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it all here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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