Five Jokes: 1-28-2025
DEI Blowback, Gwyneth Paltrow Makes Bank, An Ohio Anti-Porn Proposition, The First Potential Whole Foods Union, and Jim Acosta Leaving CNN
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— and here are FIVE JOKES!
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Ohio politician Kevin Boyce says he was told not to mention diversity, equity and inclusion during his keynote speech at the Columbus VA's annual MLK luncheon. And just for that, Boyce, seen here wishing you would —
— will go out of his way to mention diversity, equity, and inclusion in every conversation…
Like, “…Matter of fact, why AREN’T there any Stay Puft Marshmallow men and women of color?!”
Sir, this is the DMV.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s longtime home in Los Angeles’s Brentwood area has sold for $22 million — less than a month after wildfires threatened to destroy it. Related: We can expect Goop to start touting all of its merchandise as fire proof. Yes, somehow, even the candles.
In a slate of several bills restricting reproductive rights and divorce, Oklahoma senator Dusty Deevers suggests anyone making anything even vaguely pornographic should go to jail. Yet another tragic case of a politician using policy to work out their own personal issues. You don’t have to be a quantum physicists to see that Mr. Dusty Deevers has a bit complex stemming the fact that his parents gave him what is clearly a porn star name.
“Dusty Deevers” sounds so porny that if you typed it into a porn star name generator, it would come back to you with:
A Philadelphia Whole Foods is on track to become the first in the U.S. to unionize. In return, parent company, Amazon, will be first in line to, quote, “Stomp a bitch.”
Finally…
Jim Acosta is expected to depart CNN after the network took his morning show off the schedule. So, it was either that, or having viewers get used to an unshaven Jim wandering the background of whatever took over his old time slot.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
It’s nice to see the return of SNL (ever heard of it?) animated shorts…
STRAY THOUGHT
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