Five Jokes: 1-30-2024
Telepathy Implants, Texas’ Secret Shelf Of Banned Books, Popular Food Brand Slavery, Bathroom Mirror Removal = TikTok Decrease, and Digital “Personas” For Zoom
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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Neuralink co-founder Elon Musk says the companies first product, called Telepathy, will let a person control a phone or computer “just by thinking.” How exciting! We’re only a few years away from having our “brain boxes” full of “think-mails” that start with things like, “I hope this notion finds you well…”
A secret shelf of banned books thrives in a Texas school, under the nose of censors. Their secret? Giving them fake book covers titled “If You Open This, You’re Gay.”
Prisoners in the US are part of a hidden workforce linked to hundreds of popular food brands. Damn. Cap’n Crunch hits a little different when you know he’s steering a slave ship.
A North Carolina school says that removing bathroom mirrors caused a "drastic decrease" in students using the bathroom to make TikTok videos. The downside: Students now rely on their teachers telling them how bad their zit situation is in the middle of class. “Everyone, look at Jacob’s face! If he woke up at 5am with six zits and they increase at a rate of three zits per hour, how many zits will he have by 5pm?”
Finally…
Zoom will let Vision Pro wearers represent themselves as digital avatars during video calls. First, users have to take a digital scan of their face. Second, just hope your digital persona isn’t set to “happy” while you’re laying people off on the call.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Science Journalist Michael Irving has the correct analysis.
https://x.com/mikeirvo/status/1752123455125016839
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Take a look at (and vote on) the top five jokes from last week!
And check out this old classic from my Uncertain Life comics. Find more here!
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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