Five Jokes: 1-4-2024
Popular Starbucks Mugs, Unsealed Jeffrey Epstein Documents, Rage Against The Machine Breaks Up, Non-Fornicating Flowers, and The 'Barbie' Movie's Screenplay Category Switch
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and I watched Shannon Sharpe’s entire roller-coaster interview with Katt Williams yesterday thinking about how uncomfortable I’d be in this outfit:
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Target shoppers are fighting to get their hands on a pink $50 Starbucks/Stanley coffee mug. According to a poll, most buyers either love the color, want to sell the mug on EBay, or have the scariest answer to the question “How did you get those scars?”
Unsealed documents offered no new names connected to Jeffrey Epstein but did reveal details about his relationships with Trump, Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. One particular document appears to be a movie script written by the trio titled The Hangover 4.
In music news: Rage Against The Machine has broken up for a third time and Elvis Presley is returning to the stage as a hologram. So… one point for the machine, I guess.
Some flowers have evolved to have less sex. Scientists have deemed this phenomenon “Mike Johnson.”
Finally…
‘Barbie’ has been moved to “adapted screenplay” category for the Oscars despite its WGA classification as “original.” But it shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone. Everyone knows that Barbie Dream Houses contain at least two stories.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
I’d buy this game from Tim Duffy:
https://twitter.com/TimDuffy/status/1742591778937520227
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Check out my recent text interview with comedian/filmmaker Melody Kamali!
![A [TEXT MESSAGE] Conversation With Comedian / Filmmaker Melody Kamali](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff1362ce5-e78a-436c-9910-d6a6a0f6d9f1_3000x3000.png)
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All five of these got me, dang.
The Barbie thing was obviously an award gambit made by the producers and not the writers of the movie. If the Guild indicated it was an original script the Academy should have let it stand as that. The Adapted Screenplay category typically only involves adaptations "from another medium" (as the wording of the category used to say), and they must be counting "toys" as "another medium".