Five Jokes: 11-14-2023
The Supreme Court's Code Of Conduct, Apple's Big Percentage, Prince Harry's Birthday Call, André 3000's New Record, & Meta's Growth Beats TikTok's
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Y’all hear about this?..
The Supreme Court announced it will honor a code of conduct for the first time in its 234-year history. And since this all stems from Clarence Thomas’ recent scandal with Harlan Crow, it’s rumored that none of the other justices plan on sitting next to him at the Supreme Lunch Table.
During an antitrust trial in DC, it was revealed that Google pays Apple 36% of its sales from Safari searches. It was also revealed that Google picked a very bad time to try and get a better deal out of Apple CEO, Tim Cook:
The BBC reports that Harry “will be putting in a birthday phone call to his father.” There are only two possible ways we got this information, and its hard to tell which is sadder: The press publishing actual intel about an upcoming birthday call, or King Charles leaking fake intel about receiving one. Either way, the results will be the same — since British birthday calls are customarily a long silence followed by a subtle cough.
For the first time in over 17 years, André 3000 is releasing an album of new music. And — this is true — instead of a rap record, it’s all instrumental with André playing the flute. Hopefully this becomes a trend for hip-hop artists. So, who knows… The next time you see someone bobbing their head like this in a car —
— it could be because of a well-crafted modulation in the latest concerto from City Girls.
Finally…
Instagram and Facebook are growing faster than TikTok. And its all because of remarkable new data which suggests that young people tend to become old people.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE!
A hot take from the hilarious comedy writer and published author Kashana Cauley!
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
I recently unveiled the theme of the short story I’m posting at the end of the month! Go ahead and fall down the sci-fi rabbit hole that is
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