Five Jokes: 11-15-2023
Five Jokes: 11-15-2023
Google's Weather Predicting AI, Joe Biden And Xi Jinping's Reunion, Young Sheldon Set To End, Toys R Us Returns, & Mike Johnson's Fringe Christian Right Ties
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Hey! It’s Wednesday, I’m performing in Brooklyn TONIGHT @ Savage! Comedy Show, and these are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
Google’s DeepMind developed an accurate weather-predicting AI. If you’re wondering about that loud sound you just heard — it’s Al Roker flipping over a conference table.
After a year of silence, President Joe Biden and China's Xi Jinping are meeting today in San Francisco. Given the circumstances, both leaders are expected to awkwardly mutter “I missed you, babe…” before going in for a hug.
‘Young Sheldon’ will end with season 7. Finally opening up space for the prequel show we’ve all been clamoring for: The Adventures of Young Stanley From The Office.
Toys R Us is opening a store at Mall of America 5 years after bankruptcy. In a statement, Toys R Us mascot Geoffrey the Giraffe said, “Grrrrrrrrrahhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!” Because, well, he’s a zombie now. No one said bringing him back would be easy.
Finally…
One of the many things we’re learning about new U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson is that he has close ties to Christian right — both mainstream and fringe. How fringe exactly? Well, let’s just say that when he orders a fruit salad, he makes sure that none of the ingredients are “of knowledge.”
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A JOKE(S) FROM SOMEONE ELSE OTHER PEOPLE!
I watched this and instantly got sucked into the world of Alloramomo videos! [Important that you watch the full thing for maximum impact!]
A 🔥 insight from comedian Otto Fernandez.
https://twitter.com/OttoFernandez/status/1724472204090331462
And a little good news from
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STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Feels like just yesterday, Chinguun Sergelen was pitching me a Good Burger sketch.
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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