Five Jokes: 12-20-2024
“Healthy” Redefined, Looming Government Shutdown, Oyster Outbreak, France’s Ouster From African Countries, and Elon Musk’s Support Of Germany’s Far Right
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Hey! It’s Friday in America, and I’ll be taking next week off to finalize some posts for the new year and actually enjoy the holidays. Thanks so much for your support of this newsletter and if you’re in the giving spirit, consider hitting that gift button at the top of this post or one of the buttons below for a tip or paid subscription upgrade. Now, at last are the FINAL FIVE JOKES OF 2024!
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Y’all hear about this?..
The Food and Drug Administration has updated the definition of what counts as healthy — meaning its only a matter of time before the food pyramid looks more like a dollar menu.
The U.S. government is now barreling toward a government shutdown just days before Christmas, and lawmakers have less than 24 hours to pass a temporary measure to keep the government open. Only one man, Luke Skywalker, can save the republic… oh… wait, sorry… thought this was an opening crawl for a second.
A norovirus outbreak linked to oysters sickened at least 80 people who attended an event celebrating The Los Angeles Times’s annual list of the 101 best restaurants in the city. The paper has vowed to never again allow the 102nd best restaurant to handle the catering.
France’s military is being ousted from more African countries. France, in return, is working frantically to place digitized Black people into the background of Amélie as a compromise.
Finally…
Elon Musk has backed Germany’s far-right party — by threatening in the form of a song, 🎶If you don’t nazi right now… you will never never never know me… ooooooh…🎶
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
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Musk has been mouthing off about the government funding stuff- why doesn't he just pay for it himself? It would probably bankrupt him...