Five Jokes: 2-21-2024

Four Beatles Movies In One Year, A New Black Hole Discovery, Dwindling Birth Rates, Americans Spending More Money On Food, and Beyoncé Tops The Country Charts

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Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Sam Mendes will direct four 2027 Beatles feature films. That’s one film for each member (though, technically, Ringo’s is the first three spliced together with the camera zoomed closer to his face in background).

  

• Scientists have found a black hole that eats the equivalent of one sun per day. Having ruled out a vitamin D deficiency, they now recommend therapy.

• China, Japan, and Italy are all battling dwindling birth rates — and their struggles are a reminder of an issue that could eventually become a problem for the US: Less accents to mock for a cheap laugh on podcasts.

• The last time Americans spent this much of their money on food, George H.W. Bush was in office, “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” was in theaters and C+C Music Factory was rocking the Billboard charts. This metric has led economists to deem Madame Web as the fourth horseman of the fiscal apocalypse.

Finally…

• Beyoncé's 'Texas Hold 'Em' debuted at number one on the country chart. As a result, some country fans have abandoned the name, instead referring to their favorite genre as Americana Heights.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

A reminder from Alexandria Love that tax season is among us:

https://twitter.com/alexfromoakland/status/1638984855731019776

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STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

UPCOMING SHOWS!

• “Uptown Showdown: Coffee Vs. Tea” — FEBRUARY 29, 8:00PM @ Symphony Space (NY) (TICKETS)

  

• “The Story Collider” — MARCH 7, 7:30PM @ Pier 57 (NY) (TICKETS)

  

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Catch up on my letter to subscribers from the top of the month where I give a few personal updates and recommendations!

Welcome to February, 2024

And have you listened to my latest interview with James III?

[James III] Is The Genre

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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