Five Jokes: 2-22-2024
Panda Politics, The Case Of The Missing Back Yard, Google's Big A.I. Image Rendering Problem, Jeff Bezos' Massive Stock Cash Out, and Nikki Haley's Frozen Embryo Gamble
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America and here’s a picture of the two ethically non-binary celestial beings that appear on your shoulders whenever there’s a tough choice to be made:
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
China is sending more pandas to the U.S., jump-starting a new era of 'panda diplomacy.' And similar to Groundhog Day, we can now base the state of international relations on how close the shadows of the Chinese and American pandas are to “doing it.”
The sea washed away a Florida couple’s backyard. But that won’t stop their daily chores. “Ain’t no rule says a man can’t mow the ocean.”
Google suspended the image generation tool of its Gemini program after it created historical ‘inaccuracies,’ including racially diverse WWII-Era nazi soldiers. And worse — this rendering of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X:
Jeff Bezos withdrew and sold $8.5B worth of Amazon shares — cementing his reputation among Wall Street traders as having the best “pull out game.”
Finally…
2024 Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley agrees with the Alabama Supreme Court over its recent decision to classify the frozen embryos used in medical in-vitro fertilization procedures as humans under state law. “This is why I have, myself, chosen to be frozen instead of withdrawing my bid for president,” she continued. “I will always be running. Let me thaw when I have your vote.”
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
“Magical Negro Rehab” from Astronomy Club!
[Listen to my interview with Astronomy Club member James III here.]
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
UPCOMING SHOWS!
“Uptown Showdown: Coffee Vs. Tea” — FEBRUARY 29, 8:00PM @ Symphony Space (NY) (TICKETS)
“The Story Collider” — MARCH 7, 7:30PM @ Pier 57 (NY) (TICKETS)
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Since Kevin Allison has been added to the big Coffee vs Tea debate I’m in this month — check out my 2015 interview with him!
“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:
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Why can’t we cast multiple votes?!🤣