Five Jokes: 2-25-2025

Brian Cox vs "Broligarchs," The U.S. vs The U.N., A.I. Bootlicking, Amazon's New Alexa Rumors, and A Fast And Furious Roller Coaster

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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America —

— and here are FIVE JOKES!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• In an opinion piece for The Guardian, actor Brian Cox writes, “Look at Donald Trump and his gang of broligarchs – and tell me we don’t need a wealth tax…” You know, when the man who plays Wolverine’s evil daddy, HBO’s version of Rupert Murdoch, is the reigning voice of McDonald’s and the face of Uber is up for a wealth tax, maybe we should lower our claws, ride together as a family, and McListen.

  

• The U.S. has sided with Russia to vote against a U.N. resolution condemning Moscow for the Ukraine war. Boy, if Indiana Jones were alive to see this he’d roll over on his boulder.

• A video likely made using artificial intelligence of President Donald Trump kissing the feet of Elon Musk was reportedly playing on a loop in the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development headquarters Monday morning. Its important to note that it wasn’t programmed to play on a loop, but a surprising number of D.C. employees were “into it.”

  

• Amazon is holding a press event this week, where it’s expected to finally launch a “new” Alexa. Previous “new” Alexa launch dates were abruptly postponed, allowing Jeff Bezos to profess “She’s got nothin’ on you, baby!” to his fiancee.

Finally…

• Universal Studios Hollywood has offered a glimpse at the park’s forthcoming high-speed outdoor roller coaster, Fast & Furious: Hollywood Drift. In true Hollywood fashion, it starts “fast” with a greenlight, and gets “furious” as new execs step in to pause production mid-ride.

  

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Solomon Georgio plays the long game…

And, performing at the Kennedy Center is risky business, but Zach Zimmerman (a stand-up comedian, writer, and host who creates queer, anti-capitalist stories that delight and devastate) made it worthwhile…

STRAY THOUGHT

IN OTHER NEWS…

[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]

• Israeli tanks moved into the occupied West Bank on Sunday for the first time in decades in what Palestinian authorities called a “dangerous escalation,” after the defense minister said troops will remain in parts of the territory for a year and tens of thousands of Palestinians who have fled cannot return…

• How Dan Bongino went from Infowars to FBI Deputy Director…

• Larry Ellison has plowed $500 million into a vertical farming startup, but the company has been beset by problems…

• And… the value of bitcoin is falling dramatically amid major worries in the market.

SOMETHIN’ MORE!

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