Five Jokes: 2-27-2024

Biden And Trump Journey Toward Nominations, Ryan Gosling's Upcoming Oscars Performance, Georgia’s Domestic Terrorism Law, Food Inflation, and The Proposed Merger Of Kroger And Albertsons

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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America. And there are still a few tickets left for this epic debate going down in New York FEBRUARY 29, 8:00PM @ Symphony Space! (TICKETS)

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Biden and Trump are marching toward their nominations, but Michigan could reveal significant perils. Specifically, stairs. They’re like an American Gladiators challenge for those two.

• Ryan Gosling will perform ‘I’m Just Ken’ live at the Oscars. For the record, he wasn’t asked. This is just sort of a solo thing he’ll be doing from his seat.

• 42 people involved in demonstrations against a police training facility in Atlanta have been charged under Georgia’s domestic terrorism law — and shipped to Georgia’s terrorist training facility, ironically in the same building.

• Food inflation is changing how Americans eat, shop and live. In fact, the biggest change is that they’ve stopped doing all three. But there’s a glimmer of hope! Because they can still do at least one of the words in the title of Eat, Pray, Love.

  

Finally…

• The Federal Trade Commission has sued to block a proposed merger between grocery giants Kroger and Albertsons. The chains now regret allowing the priest to ask, “If anyone objects to this consolidation, appeal now or forever hold your peace.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Give Chris Condren a broadcasting network.

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

UPCOMING SHOWS!

• “Uptown Showdown: Coffee Vs. Tea” — FEBRUARY 29, 8:00PM @ Symphony Space (NY) (TICKETS)

  

• “The Story Collider” — MARCH 7, 7:30PM @ Pier 57 (NY) (TICKETS)

  

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

My 2023 [TEXT MESSAGE] interview with Ashok Kondabolu!

A [TEXT MESSAGE] Conversation With Multi-hyphenate Ashok Kondabolu (a.k.a. Dapwell)

“Why is this guy emailing five jokes a day?” — I explain it here:

Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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