Five Jokes: 2-28-2024

Biden And Trump's Border Wall Visits, Willy Wonka Fail, Apple's Electric Vehicle Dreams Deferred, A Study About Christian Nationalism, and 70 Is The New 50

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• Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump have planned trips to the Mexico border tomorrow. Leadership of both campaigns have agreed to hold conversation to a “Yep” and “Mhmmm” minimum should they cross paths.

  

• A company promised families an immersive Willy Wonka experience but they got an empty warehouse and a few jelly beans instead. Not to mention the Oompa Loompas outside calling the costumed children scabs.

• After nearly a decade and billions of dollars, Apple has killed its electric car project. Instead, prototypes will gain starring roles in future Apple TV+ shows.

  

• A study shows that Christian nationalism's support is strongest in rural, conservative states. Of course, it was conducted by The Institute Of Stats For Obvious Things Just In Case Someone Says “Prove It.”

Finally…

• For world leaders, 70 is the new 50. Which explains the trend of political parties updating their names to Werther's Original flavors. “Sure seems like Donald Trump’s gonna secure the Vanilla Crème nomination.”

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Dan Licata has a point.

https://twitter.com/danlicatasucks/status/1762619554419687868

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

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SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Last week on Yub Nub (the Star Wars podcast that I co-host with Greg Iwinski and Jim Fagan) we discussed the upcoming theatrical re-release of The Phantom Menace!

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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