Five Jokes: 2-4-2025
The Most Expensive Violin, Momentary Tariff Pause, A Fired Pastor, A Quantum Machine Prophecy, and An Example Of Streaming Dominance
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, Broccoli sold at Walmart in 20 states is now the subject of a possibly deadly recall, and I’d like to thank you all for your continued support of this little newsletter that could. 710 subscribers? Wow. What should we do when we reach 800? Pizza party?!
Anyway, I’m so stoked that —
— and here are FIVE JOKES!
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Y’all hear about this?..
A violin made by the famed Antonio Stradivari in 1714 has the potential to become the most expensive musical instrument ever sold when it goes up for auction on Friday at Sotheby’s in New York — that is, of course, as long as these two don’t look each other in the eye and start giggling.
Donald Trump has agreed to put tariffs on both Canada and Mexico on hold — meaning the nations at the top and bottom of the U.S. have tactically smushed it into the “monkey in the middle” position of international politics. In fact, in a recent press conference, Trump stated, “Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know, can you repeat the question?”
The pastor of a liberal church in Charlotte, North Carolina was pushed out after parishioners complained about his focus on racial justice. Its new pastor has promised the congregation to “only talk about sex stuff.”
A quantum machine has shown that the universe can undergo a 'catastrophic change' that could alter absolutely everything. Scientists have dubbed said event “Post Kardashian Kanye.”
Finally…
For the first time this year the streamers will spend more on content than commercial broadcasters. Explaining the resent rebrand of the popular Netflix game show, Is It Cake? to Does It Even Matter?
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Yes, it’s true, Skyler Higley used to be a sperm…
And, yes, Shalewa Sharpe stay eating cookies…
Side Note: I interviewed Shalewa back in 2016!
STRAY THOUGHT
IN OTHER NEWS…
[Interesting Headlines Minus Jokes]
PepsiCo forecasts weak annual profit as soda and snack demand slows…
Federal workers will have to scrub pronouns from email signatures…
China is placing counter-tariffs on US products and launching an antitrust investigation into Google…
SOMETHIN’ MORE!
Check out last week’s You Are The Genre episode with the Center for Brooklyn History’s chief historian, Dominique Jean-Louis!
![[Dominique Jean-Louis] Is The Genre](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lXsv!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff68b9da8-e646-4941-bdb9-d1d1cdc0384b_3000x3000.png)
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Most of the streamers are affiliated with the same companies that produce commercial television, so in this case it REALLY doesn't matter. It's the same stuff, only the distribution model is different.