Five Jokes: 2-8-2024
Biden's AI Robocall Mystery, Guinness Book of World Disappointment, X's New Angle For Success, Pro-Life Spiderman Caught On Giant Ball, and Biden's European Friends
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Y’all hear about this?..
The recent Biden AI robocalls in New Hampshire allegedly links back to a Texas strip mall. “It all makes sense now!” — exclaimed locals who have never ordered from Stanislav’s Yeehaw Russian BBQ.
Thee Guinness Book of World Records disqualified a man who spent years crafting a 23.6-foot model of the Eiffel Tower using 706,900 matchsticks and over 50 pounds of glue because he used the wrong type of matchsticks. However, he did break the record for Largest Forehead Anger Vein.
‘X’ hit the number one slot among free apps on Apple’s App just as another celebrity image scandal was going viral on its platform. This connection has prompted the app to adopt the slogan Where Conspiracy Theories Meets Porn.
A self-proclaimed 'pro-life Spiderman' scaled the Sphere in Las Vegas ahead of the Super Bowl. Officials now worry the arena was somehow fertilized by the strange man, but have agreed to support its owners, Madison Square Garden Entertainment, with whatever choice it makes. “Corporations are people, and they have the right to decide if their giant sphere will give birth to a bizarre part-building, part-pro-life-spiderman mutant.”
Finally…
Biden says he spoke to a SECOND dead European statesman. And, frankly, I think we should take him at his word. As the oldest president on U.S. history,he’s technically our official connection to the nether world. And if he keeps this up, who knows! Maybe he’ll let someone like Robin Williams possess him on the campaign trail.
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Speaking of possession, the hilarious Brandi Denise has some theories.
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
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