Five Jokes: 3-14-2024
'Gorilla Hail,' Don Lemon's Canceled 'X' Show, Mystery Bird Deaths In Utah, Viral Trader Joe's Tote Bags, and How Race Factors Into Neighborhoods
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Y’all hear about this?..
A storm carrying golf-ball sized ‘gorilla hail’ hit parts of Kansas. Unfortunately, it wasn’t part of a ‘gorilla campaign’ for this rumored addition to the Godzilla vs Kong franchise:
Elon Musk canceled Don Lemon’s show on X over interview questions he didn’t like. Granted, most of those questions were “Y?”
Utah residents are baffled by dozens of dead birds falling from neighborhood trees. Well… most are. There are multiple reports of Thomas, the goth kid from up the street, smiling for the first time in years as he skips from one bird to the next, gathering them in a basket.
Trader Joe’s $3 mini tote bags went viral on TikTok and are now reselling for hundreds. Can’t really debate the power of TikTok now that it’s made us invest in the one thing harder to explain than cypto, NFTs, and beanie babies.
Finally…
Data suggests that race still plays a huge role in determining what kind of neighborhood a child grows up in. Oddly, race doesn’t seem to be an issue for children on the border of such divisions. “I mean, who cares about ethnicity when everyone you know has a red line running down the center of their body?” said this kid:
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
is unstoppable when he’s in in hot take mode…https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/1768026569379852322
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Check out my 2015 podcast interview with wrestler Colt Cabana!
And an old joke of mine while Dune is still in the zeitgeist:
https://twitter.com/TimBarnes451/status/1646849847092289538
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