Five Jokes: 3-19-2024
Asbestos Is Finally Banned, An Awards Ceremony Mishap, American Marriage Statistics, A Controversial Kate Middleton Video, and Richard Simmons
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Hey! It’s Tuesday in America, and I’m really not sure how I didn’t get the part…
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
In a historic move, the Environmental Protection Agency announced a comprehensive ban on asbestos. So, next time you find yourself thinking, How is Donald Trump possibly allowed to run for re-election?.. Remember: We literally JUST banned asbestos.
A nonprofit has canceled the Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Leadership Awards after selecting Rupert Murdoch and Elon Musk as recipients to the outrage of the late justice’s family. Instead they’re renaming it the Please Take This Vague Trophy And Call It Whatever You Want Because We Fear What You Could Do To Us Otherwise Awards.
Americans have been getting married a lot more in the years since the pandemic, according to new data - in a study titled So Why Not Me?
A new Kate Middleton video has sparked controversy. Some say she’s not in the video at all and that it’s actually an impersonator. While others say, the U.K. is required to pay $24 trillion as reparations for its involvement in transatlantic slavery in 14 countries.
Finally…
After posting a cryptic social media message, Richard Simmons clarified that he's not dying — stating, “I just pressed send too soon. What I meant to write was: I am dying for a cheeseburger.”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Speaking of weddings,
has this great piece about wedding do’s and don’ts over at her awesome newsletter titled Great!
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STRAY THOUGHT
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
Check out my 2014 interview with comedian James Adomian!
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Once upon a time, there was a town in Canada named Asbestos, because the mining of it constituted the major industry there. It changed its name a couple of years ago- good thing...