Five Jokes: 3-25-2024
ALEXANDRIA LOVE TAKEOVER! - Boeing CEO Stepping Down, Trump's Bond Deadline, A Barkley Marathon Record, Possible Life On Venus, and Fake Golf News
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In This Newsletter:
An Update From Tim
New ‘You Are The Genre’ Episodes!
Hey! It’s Monday in America, and my friend
is taking over this week with her own unique spin on these Five Jokes updates! Doing so frees up time for me to polish some of the other features of the newsletter that you know and love while also giving you a glimpse into the brilliance of some of the funniest people I know. But before she takes over, consider checking out the latest episode of my You Are The Genre podcast featuring TV writer and podcaster Molly McCaleer!→ We chat about her journey from blogs, to television, to her own Solid Listen podcast network.
[Paid subscribers can listen ahead to next week’s episode with comedian Sonia Denis, who is set to appear in Marvel’s upcoming ‘Ironheart’ series! ]
Now, Alexandria — take it away! Oh, and if you like her jokes this week, consider leaving her a tip!
Sup, nerds! It’s Monday in America and I’m not Tim Barnes. My name is Alexandria Love. I’m a comedian, writer, and self-diagnosed super-genius. Most importantly, I’m a GREAT joke writer. I even have been known to write a joke or two over on my Substack, the Great! Newsletter (which you should totally check out, b-t-dubs!) For this week, I’ll be sending five jokes every day in Tim’s place, because he’s asked me to. I will also be wearing his clothes, living in the basement of his house, and following his wife around the grocery store. He didn’t ask me to do any of that, but I’m just that committed to my craft.
Anyway, here’s five jokes (alexandria’s version)!
Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, The Carter Center, and/or Alliance for Middle East Peace.
Y’all hear about this?..
Today it was announced that the CEO of Boeing, Dave Calhoun is going to step down from his position. Well, he plans to step down but it will likely end up as a crash landing due to engine failure.
Today is the final deadline for Donald Trump to secure a $454 million bond in his civil fraud case. Apparently if his fundraiser is successful, not only could he avoid prison time, but he will also receive a pizza party for his entire school! But seriously, 450 million dollars seems a little high, and I’m surprised Trump didn’t try to negotiate. If only there was a book he could read about the art of making deals…
Jasmin Paris became the first woman to complete the Barkley Marathons, a footrace that requires participants to navigate 100 miles of rugged Tennessee terrain in no more than 60 hours. - that’s right, she navigated 100 miles of rugged Tennessee terrain, or as they call it in Nashville, a bachelorette party.
A new study has found that despite sulfuric acid clouds, there might be evidence of life on Venus. Scientists say life on Venus could be intelligent, however, this does not affect life on Jupiter, which currently remains more stupider.
Finally…
Trump is being criticized after claiming that he won two golf trophies… at his own club. When asked for comment, Trump said, “Of course I’m good at golf… I always get the highest score!
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
I hope you enjoyed those jokes! My name is and you can follow me on Instagram, X, or my website!
For more laughs, check out last week’s jokes! And consider becoming a (free or paid) subscriber to
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
More amazing tips from Skyler Higley…
https://twitter.com/skyler_higley/status/1771976810336784750
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
https://twitter.com/alexfromoakland/status/1771595647763755250
“Why are these people emailing five jokes a day?” —
explains it here:Letters from African America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider sharing…
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See you tomorrow for day two of…
Haha the last golf joke got me!