Five Jokes: 3-5-2024

A.I. Diversity, Apples Eventless Product Launch, A.I. Résumés Behaving Badly, 'SEAL Team' Lawsuit, and Bezos vs Musk

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Hey! It’s SUPER Tuesday in America, and this is how I’ll be running errands from now on:

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• Trump supporters are sharing fake images of him with his arms around Black voters to claim he’s popular with them. Most egregious are A.I. images planting Trump in the 90s film Friday, saying things like, “Bye, Crooked Felecia.”

• Apple just added a bunch of new products without a big launch event. It’s part of their new iThought We Were Friends, Because You'd Know About These Already If You’d Call Every Now And Then line of accessories.

• A new breed of bots promises to send out applicants’ résumés to hundreds of jobs at a time. But sometimes the AI makes stuff up about the applicant, making them look really, really bad. Employers suggest double checking your résumé to be certain that A.I. hasn’t added an image of Trump touching your afro in the middle of Nancy Pelosi’s raided office during the insurrection.

• A ‘SEAL Team’ script coordinator and freelance scriptwriter is suing CBS/Paramount for hiring discrimination against being straight, male and white. If he wins, he’ll spend the earnings on a series of his own called ‘The A(nglo) Team.’ Not sure how well “I pitty the gene pool” will catch on.

Finally…

• Jeff Bezos has replaced Elon Musk as world’s richest man after Musk previously claimed the title from him in 2021. Economists describe this tantric back and forth as “wealth edging.” And estimate that they won’t reach “fiscal climax” until attaining a balanced net income. At which point, watch out, because… you know… “liquidation.”

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

Screenwriting, with Chase Mitchell.

STRAY THOUGHT

This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):

UPCOMING SHOWS!

• “The Story Collider” — MARCH 7, 7:30PM @ Pier 57 (NY) (TICKETS)

  

SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!

Catch up (and vote) on the top five jokes from last week!

Best of the Week!

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Why I Email Five Jokes A Day

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