Five Jokes: 3-7-2024
State Of The Union, Subway National Guard, China's 'Delete America' Initiative, Apple Podcast Transcripts, and Man With 217 Covid Vaccine Doses
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Hey! It’s Thursday in America, and POP QUIZ! — Would you rather feel the pain of the Dune torture box OR get roasted by a random Black teenager?
Anyway, here are Five Jokes!
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Y’all hear about this?..
President Joe Biden is addressing the nation tonight at the State of the Union. And sources say he’ll be testing out a new catchphrase: “I ain’t scared of you motherf*ckers.”
New York is sending the National Guard into NYC subways to help fight crime. But to ease concern, they’re required to shout, “Showtime!” and do a quick dance before performing any arrests or shooting under the orders of the Governor.
China is ramping up efforts to ‘Delete America’ from its technology. Biden officials now urge citizens to add the national anthem to all American made thirst traps on TikTok.
Apple Podcasts now includes transcripts. And id seeing Joe Rogan Experience episodes as 5,000 page articles about pyramids, weed and horse dewormer won’t make fans rethink a few things, I don’t know what will.
Finally…
A man in Germany received 217 Covid vaccine doses over two and a half years. Scientists said he appeared to have a very robust immunity and no adverse effects — beyond of looking like this:
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Ray Cotolo keeps getting his neighbor’s mail…
STRAY THOUGHT
This is a new segment for a joke or “stray” thought of mine that doesn’t fit the standard setup/punchline format. Hopefully it’ll make me post on Twitter less. Enjoy (and feel free to share!):
SOMETHIN’ FROM THE VAULT!
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I don't think Joe's aids OR network television will let him get away with using the "m" word...
I vote 'moderated by nurse'!