Five Jokes: 4-11-2024

O.J. Simpson, Target's Theft Crackdown, Apple Reverses Stance On Repairs, A New Hybrid Fruit, and Election Worker Burnout

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Hey! It’s Thursday in America and I don’t think many people realize Timothée Chalamet’s upcoming Bob Dylan movie is actually a sequel to Wonka.

Anyway, here are Five Jokes!

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Y’all hear about this?..

• O.J. Simpson, the former football star acquitted of murder, has passed away at 76 — oddly, the same day as the release of his speculative fiction novel, If I Really Did Died At Age 76.

• New technology at Target will crack down on theft at self-checkout kiosks. Which is just a fancy way of saying, your local Target has hired a guy named Leon to stand next to the self-checkout machines.

• In a long-awaited reversal, Apple will approve used parts in iPhone repairs. So, hopefully that’ll stop people from asking why mine looks like a “a severely cracked phone duct taped to a toaster oven.”

• Washington State University has created a new apple hybrid that's both 'firm and tasty.' In response, orchards have placed these signs near hybrid patches:

  

Finally…

• WIRED reports that election workers are already burned out — and on high alert. But that’s just because of Leon, the guy the government hired to stand next to the voting machines.

Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!

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🎨: Madhuri Shukla

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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE

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[Steven Castillo] Is The Genre

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