Five Jokes: 4-25-2024
Five Jokes: 4-25-2024
MIKE POOLE TAKEOVER! - The Senate Investigates Ozempic, Cicada Mating Calls, The U.S. vs TikTok, Armed Tennessee School Teachers, and Runaway Horses In London
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Hi, it’s Thursday in America and I continue to be Mike Poole, and not
. I’m filling in for Tim and giving you five jokes a day, as he continues to research if Eat, Pray, Love has to happen in sequential order. The great mysteries must be solved and he’s doing God’s work.How ‘bout some jokes?
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Y’all hear about this?..
Bernie Sanders has started a Senate investigation into the high prices of Ozempic. He claims, “Millions of Americans are being priced out from their universal right to look absolutely snatched.”
Cicadas have started to emerge across a dozen US states, and their mating calls are said to be as “loud as lawn mowers” — so no, that’s not your dad doing yard work, it’s a million bugs going “What that thang do?”
The U.S. officially plans to ban TikTok unless it is sold by it’s owners ByteDance. Many creators and users are wondering what will happen next, and the answer is the third video under this sound.
Tennessee lawmakers passed a bill allowing school staff to be armed. Unfortunately, every over-enthusiastic history teacher will now be bringing their musket to class.
Finally…
Yesterday, a number of runaway horses galloped through London, causing injury and alarm as they raced through the city streets. Luckily, they were recovered before Vin Diesel could get an idea for another Fast and the Furious movie”
Those were five jokes! Which was your favorite? Use this poll, or drop a comment!
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
Writing tips from Felipe Torres Medina!
https://twitter.com/felipetmedinaa/status/1284541743732490242
STRAY THOUGHT FROM TIM
SOMETHIN’ FROM MY VAULT!
An ancient tomb in Egypt was opened to the public this week following 15 years of restoration work. Wow, so that’s where Extreme Makeover’s Ty Pennington has been. - Mike Poole
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Mike Poole is a Brooklyn-based comedian and late night writer who’s credits include writing for The Amber Ruffin Show and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He has performed all across the world doing improv, standup, sketch, and characters. He is the creator and host of Mike Poole’s Pool Party, and is a member of My Mommas Biscuits.
He has appeared on Comedy Central, Disney+, MTV, NBC, Food Network, A&E Network, Peacock and more on their television, digital, and streaming services.
Formerly a teacher and performer at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City. He performed on many shows including Harold Night , Cipha Sound’s Take It Personal, and Baby Wants Candy.
Also a musical improvisor he has travelled across America, Europe, and even Off-Broadway with groups like North Coast: Hip Hop Improv and Baby Wants Candy: Shamilton. He is a former member of Netflix and No Chill and Improvised Gilmore Girls.
Originally from Winslow Township NJ, Mike Poole graduated from Montclair State University with BA in Broadcasting with a minor in Art & Design. He has a lot of feelings about Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and desperately wants more people to discuss these films with him.
